


Right Here

by lastmileoftheway



Category: Westlife
Genre: Banter, Best Friends, Boys In Love, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional, Fluff and Smut, Heartbreak, Kissing, M/M, Relationship Negotiation, Reunions, Secret Relationship, Sexual Content, Songfic, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:35:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28379364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lastmileoftheway/pseuds/lastmileoftheway
Summary: Nicky and Shane had always been more than best friends, but when Westlife ended in 2012,  Shane also ended their special relationship. When Westlife decide to get back together six years later, Shane also decides to fight to win Nicky back. Is it too late or does Nicky still love him the same?
Relationships: Nicky Byrne/Shane Filan
Kudos: 5





	1. Dublin - October 2017

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve been a Westlife (and ShNicky) fan for almost twenty years and even though I’ve read and loved many fanfics over the years, I’ve never felt brave enough to publish any work of my own. Now, in lockdown mode and in desperate need of filling that Westlife-sized hole, I’ve finally had enough time to write my own little ShNicky saga, which I had been toying with for the last two years. 
> 
> I may (or may not) add some more chapters over time :).
> 
> I dedicate this story to my best friend and fellow ShNicky advocate - R, this is for you. 
> 
> Disclaimer: This fictional story is loosely based on real events, but you know, any resemblance to actual incidents or persons is entirely coincidental… or is it?
> 
> Warnings: M/M, explicit

07:28 PM - Nicky stared at the display on the dashboard. He was meant to meet Louis in two minutes and yet, he was still sitting in his car, parked just around the corner of the Olympia. Clutching the steering wheel, he considered simply heading back home, making up some sort of family emergency or another lame excuse for not showing up. What the hell was he even doing here?! Wasn‘t this just the thing he had been trying to avoid at all costs for the past few... years?

“Ugh...,“ Nicky groaned to himself and checked his pale reflection in the rear-view mirror. “You got this, Byrne... don‘t be a coward... it‘s been years... Just pop in, say hi, enjoy the show... no big deal... Shane used to be your best friend... no, scratch that... Shane used to be so much more, right until-“ Before Nicky could talk himself out of it, he got out of the car, slammed the door behind him and walked through the light drizzle across the cobbled street, towards the back entrance of the theatre.

***

“Nicky! So great to see you! So glad you could make it! Come on, come on, this way!“ before Nicky even had a chance to reply, Louis ushered him down several narrow flights of stairs towards the dressing rooms. “Shane will be ever so pleased to see you! He doesn‘t even know you‘re coming! What a surprise! Oh, it‘s been so long! The fans will go crazy about this! Crazy! You guys must get back together! Just meet up for dinner, talk about the good old times and take it from there... you could be even bigger than the first time round, I‘m telling you!“ while Louis babbled on and on, Nicky tried to come to terms with the fact that he was literally seconds away from seeing the one person he had avoided for so long. What was he supposed to say? Hi? Hello? Hey? Hug? Shake hands? A manly clap on the shoulder? Nicky could feel his pulse quicken with every step and before he knew it, they were standing in front of a heavy white door with a plate telling them that “Shane Filan - Artist“ was supposed to be in there.

Louis knocked twice, “Open up, Shane! It‘s your boss!“ he laughed. Nicky could hear a familiar chuckle from inside, “Come in, Louis!“ Louis opened the door and greeted him excitedly, “Hi Shane! I‘ve brought someone to see you! You won‘t believe it!“ He stepped aside to make room for Nicky, who walked tentatively into the room, his legs suddenly turning to jelly. The moment they locked eyes, Nicky registered several emotions crossing the brunette‘s face at the same time: surprise, shock, disbelief, but most of all... joy. Before he could decide on the best way to greet his ex-bandmate, Nicky was pulled into a tight bear hug.

“Nicky!“ Shane gasped into his shoulder and as he inhaled the familiar scent he had missed for so long, Nicky could feel his heart skip a beat. Whatever he had planned to say or feel, his body could not be fooled. “Shane!“ he replied breathlessly and as they broke apart all too soon, Nicky was surprised to see tears glistening in Shane‘s eyes, the biggest smile lighting up his face. Trying to swallow past the lump in his own throat, Nicky was sure no one had ever been THIS happy to see him - well, maybe apart from his mam, when he had returned home after their first world tour.

“I can‘t believe you‘re here,“ Shane beamed, his hand still on Nicky‘s back. “Neither can I... Louis only texted me this morning and... here I am,“ Nicky could not help grinning back, his stupid heart doing some sort of overexcited cartwheels in his chest, “You‘re looking well, Mr Filan“. “Ah, speak for yourself, Nico,“ Shane replied, looking Nicky up and down appreciatively.

“5 minutes, Shane!“ someone called outside the door and for a minute Shane looked as if he had forgotten he was about to play a show in a sold out theatre. “Oh crap... I guess I‘ve got a job to do,“ he said, smiling apologetically, “you will stay after the show, though, won‘t you?! Let‘s go for a few pints to catch up, there‘s so... so much to talk about...“ he trailed off. Nicky blinked and cleared his throat, “Yeah, sounds great.“

“Alright, lads! Let‘s snap a quick photo for social media. The fans will looove this!“ Shane and Nicky had almost forgotten Louis was in the room with them. They put their arms around each other once more and beamed at the camera. When they hugged again, Shane said quietly, “I‘m so glad you‘re here. It means a lot, you know. I... um... see you later then?“ Nicky squeezed his arm and smiled, “Sure! Break a leg, Shano!“

***

The crowd adored Shane. They cheered, screamed, danced and sang along to every song. Up from his seat on the balcony, Nicky watched his former bandmate in awe. Shane was born to be on stage and Nicky was flooded with pride. No matter what had happened between the two of them, Shane deserved every bit of his success - especially after everything he and his family had been through after Westlife had ended. Before Nicky could dwell on the past too much, Shane started chatting to the crowd again.

“Ladies and gentlemen, there‘s someone really special in the audience tonight. Please give it up for Mister Nicky Byyyrne!“ The fans went absolutely mental, when Nicky got up from his seat to lean over the balustrade and waved down at the crowd. Man, he missed the buzz of live shows. Of being on stage. Of working with his mates. Nicky was lost in thought, while Shane belted out one of his uptempo hits - Nicky had to admit he had never really listened to Shane’s albums properly, because... well... However, the sight of Shane shaking his hips along to the beat, caught Nicky‘s attention. He really was in top form tonight. Shane had always been a natural when it came to singing and dancing, but performing on his own for a couple of years had clearly boosted his self-confidence. And he really was looking so well. Nicky was sure Shane‘s chest had not been this toned, when they were still-

Nicky snapped out of his bubble, when Shane turned to the crowd again. “The next song... it‘s... I‘ve written it for... it‘s...“ Huh? It didn‘t seem like Shane to struggle for words like that. “Um... the next song... is called Right Here.“ Nicky looked down at the stage, as the keyboard started playing and was surprised to find Shane staring into his direction as if he was trying to find someone in the crowd.

_If I could just undo_

_If you could see the truth_

_I’d change it if I could_

_Change it all for you_

_Say that you’ll take my hand_

_Say that you’ll understand_

_I beg you on my knees_

_Can I take you back?_

.... What?! Nicky felt as if he‘d been punched into the guts. He leaned back in his seat, hiding in the shadows, struggling for breath. Who the hell was Shane singing about?! He‘d... he’d never left _Gillian_ , had he?!

_I’ll be right here_

_I’ll stay right here_

_Don’t be afraid_

_Cause I’ll stay right here_

_You are the best of me_

_You’re everything I need_

_I’ll keep you safe and sound_

_Never let you down_

_I beg you on my knees_

_Can I take you back?_

By now, Nicky‘s ears were ringing and he felt dizzy. Shane wouldn‘t... he couldn‘t possibly... No, it was impossible. Nicky didn‘t dare looking down at the stage again. He couldn‘t. As soon as Shane finished the song, his voice shaking slightly, the crowd erupted into loud cheers again. Nicky jumped out of his seat and staggered down the stairs towards the nearest exit.

***

As Nicky lay wide awake beside his sleeping wife that night, the screen of his phone lit up.

**Hey, I couldn‘t find you after the show. Hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for coming! S**

Nicky took a deep breath before he replied:

**Sorry, had to rush home. Little Gia was feeling poorly. Show was great! Well done, man! N**

He really was a coward.


	2. Dublin - January 2018

Strange things were happening. Nicky had just returned from one of his “new year - new me“-runs along the beach and was about to make himself a cup of tea to warm up, when is phone beeped - again. Throughout the day he had received several texts from both Kian and Mark, innocently asking him how he was and what he was up to. After Westlife had ended, they had never really lost touch, but they had not been chatting on a daily basis, either - mostly they had exchanged funny anecdotes, birthday wishes, the odd family portrait and links to the most recent article written by some dodgy journalist (or rather “close friend“) letting them know the exact date of their “big reunion“. It cracked them up.

**How about we meet up soon? The 4 of us? Lemme know what you think. Ki**

Nicky frowned at his phone. Kian wanted to _meet_ him? Along with Mark and Shane?! They had not met in... well, almost seven years. What was going on? Was Kian sick? Was Mark getting married and needed someone to sing at his wedding?

While Nicky was going through possible reasons for Kian‘s sudden eagerness to rekindle their friendship, Nicky‘s phone beeped once more.

**Glad to hear you‘re doing well! Just been listening to your show this morning, great craic! Another funny story: around Christmas I ran into Shane and Kian in town and we got talking about the good old days. After a couple of pints (well, G &Ts for me), we came up with an... idea. I think you would like that idea, too. It‘s hard to explain on the phone, but maybe we could meet soon? We‘d come over to Dublin, of course - you‘re the only one who‘s got a day job after all ;-). Has Shane been in touch lately? M x**

Oh. Fuck. He hadn‘t seen it coming. _An idea_. Not so soon. Maybe one day, in a couple of years. Not now. Not so suddenly. Well, maybe it wasn‘t as sudden and surprising if you lived in Sligo and bumped into your old bandmates on a regular basis when buying locally grown vegetables at a farmer‘s market or whatever it was that country bumpkins did in their freetime. So... this was it now, wasn‘t it? _I think you would like that idea, too._ Did he? Yes? No? Maybe he got it wrong. It might not be about a reunion after all. Maybe they’d be screaming with laughter if Nicky asked them and it was about something else entirely.

But what if it wasn’t? It wasn’t like he hadn’t fantasized about this at all. But was he ready? Nicky couldn’t keep up with all those questions rushing through his mind. He did have a job. A job that he loved. He‘d be away from his family again. He absolutely loved coming home to his wife and children after a couple of hours at the studio every morning. He loved having a routine. A life that was almost... did he dare say “normal“? Apart from that, could they actually pull it off?! Weren‘t they too old? He _did_ miss it, though...

**Mark, is this what I think it is? N**

Mark replied almost instantly:

**Yes, it is.**

***

When his wife had returned home from her yoga class that afternoon, Nicky had told her about the texts he had exchanged with Kian and Mark earlier that day and that he had a feeling they would want to have “the talk“ quite soon. She had almost seemed more excited than Nicky had been and as always, Georgina had been a rock of support - saying all the right things and telling her husband she‘d have his back no matter what he wanted to do.

So, for now there was only one more question to answer: _Has Shane been in touch lately?_ Well, he had wished Nicky a happy Christmas and a couple of days later, he had also wished him a happy new year, but that probably wasn‘t what Mark had meant. Kian and Mark must have been surprised, confused even, to witness the end of Nicky‘s and Shane‘s friendship when Westlife had ended. Had they not always been joined at the hip? Good old “ShNicky“ always acting like a married couple? Well, Mark and Kian had never really known just how much of a married couple Shane and Nicky had really been...

The truth was that Nicky had hardly been in touch with Shane in all those years - not after those first few months of desperately trying to fix things that just... couldn‘t be fixed. He had seen him a couple of times, Childline concerts and radio shows, these kind of things, but it had always only been a couple of minutes of polite smalltalk, not really meeting his eyes, not really letting himself get emotionally involved. When he had gone so see Shane at the Olympia a couple of months ago, he had been determined to try to rebuild a small part of their friendship, show a bit of support, a bit of... forgiveness and maturity. But then... _I beg you on my knees, can I take you back?_ Ugh, those lines had basically been haunting Nicky ever since. Shane had not said a word about the show afterwards and neither had Nicky. Their texts had been limited to more shallow smalltalk. And then again, he might have gotten it all wrong and Shane had only written a depressing love song without any intentional personal reference at all.

***

**Hi guys, I hope you don‘t mind me setting up this group chat. Nicky, we‘re coming over to yours on Saturday at 3PM, alright? Can‘t wait to see ya! It‘s gonna be a-ma-zing!!! M x**

Nicky grinned excitedly as he re-read Mark‘s message. It was really happening. Saturday was only three days away and they would even have the house to themselves, because Georgina and her sister were going to take the kids to Kerry for the weekend, so they could reminisce and focus on... well, on whatever was going to come. As exciting as it was, Nicky also felt a rather big twinge of unease. Getting back together also meant he was going to see Shane again - a lot - and he wasn‘t sure how he felt about that. One thing was certain, though: it was never going to be as it had been before.

Nicky sighed and stared out of the window, lost in thought. Shane used to be his best friend for such a long time and then... he had also been so much more than his best friend. He had been his secret lover, his boyfriend, the man he had hopelessly loved and who had undoubtedly loved him back. It had all started out on their first world tour - the physical attraction, the desire mounting until Shane had drunkenly ended up in Nicky‘s bed one night. At first, they had tried to fight it, telling themselves they just needed a way to deal with their sexual frustration, a bit of release, because they had been missing their girlfriends on the road.

However, it had not taken them long to admit to themselves they had been head over heels in love with each other - slowly but surely, they had not only shared passionate nights of lust, but also all those innocent looks and touches and all those silly little jokes until they had basically spent every minute in each other‘s company. The others in the band had been oblivious to what had been going on between them and simply used to make fun of “ShNicky“ whenever they had been acting “a bit weird“. Yes, Shane and Nicky had felt bad about cheating on their wives, but they had promised themselves to limit their relationship to whenever they had been on the road. To always put their families first. No inappropriate behaviour and no phone calls when they were with their wives and children. Of course, there had been lots of heartache, pain, tears, jealousy, arguments, make-up-sex and many close calls involved, but it had been absolutely worth it.

Nicky had always thought they had been meant to be. Destined for one another even. There had always been rough patches, just like in any other relationship, but they had been able to get through anything. Or so Nicky had thought. His world had come to a standstill, when Shane had ended their relationship the morning after their farewell show at Croke Park. Back then, Nicky had noticed the constant strain Shane had seemed to be under, but he only got to know the full extent of Shane‘s personal crisis and his bankruptcy later. Shane had never told him. Thinking about that morning still pained Nicky - the way Shane had stood in front of him, his face blank, telling him he would always love him, but he could not go on and he would be leaving the country the following day. How he had kissed the top of Nicky‘s head for the last time and left him standing in his hotel room, numb and broken, his family waiting for him downstairs to join them for breakfast.

Of course, he had tried to fight for Shane. All those times he had called him, texted him - sometimes drunk - and twice he had even turned up on Shane‘s doorstep in London, begging him to change his mind, to no avail. When Shane had eventually blocked his number, Nicky had finally given up - given up on their relationship and for some time, he had also given up on himself. It had been the darkest time of Nicky‘s life and it had only been with the help and support of his wife and family - who had thought Nicky had been struggling with the loss of Westlife and the end of his career - that he had got through those months of despair, misery and guilt.

The beeping of his phone interrupted Nicky‘s daydreaming. Speaking of the devil...

**Hi Nicky, can I come over on Friday? I think we need to talk, before we can talk about the band. S**

Jesus. Going from shallow smalltalk backstage to coming over to Nicky‘s house on. his. own. to talk seemed like a big step - in whatever direction.

**That‘s gonna be one long chat if you‘re coming a day early! Not sure we have that many teabags...**

Sarcastic remarks and silly jokes had always been Nicky‘s way of covering his anxiety and nervousness.

**Very funny, Nico. Please? This is important to me. 5PM?**

Nicky gulped. Shane wasn‘t messing then, was he? The time really had come. Nicky wished he could pretend the thought of seeing Shane didn‘t affect him that much, but as he held his phone to reply, his heart was racing and his hands were shaking slightly.

**Sure! See you on Friday then.**


	3. January 2018 - Two days later

It was five minutes to 5PM and Nicky was slowly losing his mind. His pulse was racing and he was sweating. He glanced at the clock on the wall - nope, not enough time for another shower and what if he messed up his hair again? He had already wasted half an hour trying to get it right the first time round. Nicky was pacing through the kitchen, through the hall, through the living room and could barely keep himself from rearranging the cushions on the sofa. Why the hell would Shane care about the fucking cushions?! Gargh, Nicky groaned and cursed himself. There was absolutely no reason for him to be so... he didn‘t even know what he was. Nervous? Scared? Excited? All of it? No, there was no reason to be scared - he had _already_ lost Shane, so there was nothing else to lose, was there? Just as Nicky reached out for one of the bloody cushions, he heard a noise outside.

Nicky rushed to the window and... and there was a shiny black SUV parked in front of his house! With a Sligo number plate! Oh. Wow. Nicky forced himself to step away from the window - he didn‘t want to look like a complete iditot, who had just been waiting for Shane to arrive. Because he hadn‘t. He wanted to appear as relaxed as possible. So, he‘d just... relax, right? Nicky said down on the sofa (crushing the bloody cushions), took a deep breath and waited. He waited for a minute. He waited for another minute. Hm, Shane was taking his time. Surely the Byrnes‘ front door wasn‘t that far from his car. What was Shane do- _DINGDONG_! Nicky jumped, the stupid door bell had never been this loud before. Right. Inhale, exhale.

Nicky opened the door and there he was. Shane. For some reason, Shane didn‘t look as happy to see Nicky as he had the last time. In fact, Shane looked rather uneasy, his face an unhealthy shade of green. Hm, Nicky couldn‘t recall Shane suffering from motion sickness before, but what did he know.

“Hey, um... nice to see you,“ Nicky greeted the man in front of him and hugged him briefly. “Hi Nicky,“ was all Shane came up with and even his voice sounded a bit off, before he shut his mouth firmly in a tight line. “Um.. are you alright?!“ Nicky was beginning to get worried now. Why had Shane come all the way from Sligo, when he was clearly unwell? However, the brunette just nodded and looked at Nicky expectantly. “Um... come on in then! The living room is- well, you know where it is. Just sit down, I‘ll make some tea.“

Grateful for an excuse to take a few more deep breaths, Nicky went into the kitchen and filled the kettle. When he returned to the living room, he was relieved to see that Shane‘s cheeks were looking a little less green now.

“You‘ve got a new sofa,“ was the first thing Shane said, when Nicky placed a steaming mug in front of him. “We got it three years ago,“ Nicky didn‘t even know why his voice sounded as cold and snappy as it did. “Sorry...“ Shane mumbled quietly and looked down into his lap. “No, it‘s alright... how were you supposed to know? You haven‘t been here since.. hmm..“ Nicky trailed off and sat down on the other end of the sofa, keeping a safe distance between the two of them. “So.... um.... big day tomorrow, aye?!“ Nicky tried to lighten the mood. Shane looked up and Nicky could see the ghost of a smile on his face, “Yeah, I guess...“.

“So, what do you-“ ... “Nicky, I‘m here to-“ They started speaking at the same time. They grimaced awkwardly at each other, before Nicky nodded his head, indicating to Shane to start talking. Shane was fidgeting nervously, playing with the watch on his wrist, but when he turned to Nicky, his eyes were so... pure, so honest, so vulnerable, it almost hurt Nicky to look into them.

“Nicky... I... before we start talking about getting back together as a band... I... I need to do this...," before Nicky realised what was happening, Shane took his hand and as he began to stroke it gently with his thumb, Nicky forgot how to breathe. “Nicky... I... I‘d like to apologise... what I did to you... I... you‘ve got to believe me, I hate myself for hurting you the way I did... I never meant to hurt you, ever... but I... I didn‘t have another choice...“ Nicky opened his mouth to say something, but Shane went on, “please, hear me out... I didn‘t have another choice, my life was falling apart and-“

Nicky tried to swallowed past the lump in his throat and said in a small voice: “But... you did have a choice, Shane... You.... I had no idea about your company... how bad things were and I would have done anything to-“

“Shh, Nicky... that‘s the point... I _know_ you would have done everything to help me, but I had to protect you... I couldn‘t let you get involved... I had already ruined so much, I couldn‘t let this affect you, too... it was so hard not to tell you what was going on, to keep so many secrets... but I had to... I wanted you to be carefree... to move on...“

“Shane... how could you even THINK I... I...could be carefree and move on without you?!“ Nicky couldn‘t keep the pain and a trace of anger out of his voice.

“Well, you... you did move on eventually, didn‘t you?“ By now, Shane was blinking rapidly, barely keeping the tears at bay.

“Are you JOKING?!“ Nicky pulled his hand out of Shane‘s grip and snorted angrily, “you... you broke my fucking heart, Shane! I lost Westlife, my job, my life and then I lost you. You... you left me with no explanation... blocked my number... I had always thought we‘d get through anything... you and me, us against the world... ha, bloody, ha...“ Nicky hadn‘t planned to lose his temper like that, but it felt good to let it out, “I may have moved on EVENTUALLY, but you have no idea what I went through... We could have found a way to.. to make it work... I... I... loved you, Shane...“ as suddenly as his temper had flared up, the fight went out of Nicky again and he took a shuddering breath, closing his eyes.

“Nicky... you‘ve got to believe me,“ Shane‘s voice was trembling, “Hurting you the way I did is the biggest regret of my life... I will never ever forgive myself for doing this to you... I promise, I will never treat you like that again... I... I‘m begging you... please... please forgive me.“

“Shane...“ Nicky sighed, “if I hadn‘t forgiven you, I... you wouldn‘t be here today and... there would be no meeting tomorrow... and... I wouldn‘t have come to see your show last year...“

Shane couldn‘t stop the tears from falling now, “Th... thank you... I promise to make up for all my mistakes if... if you let me, Nicky... I... you... I... the song I sang at the show... it was meant to be for you... most of my songs are about you, you know...“

Nicky‘s heart was racing and his head was spinning. Things were moving much too quickly for his liking. “Umm... to be honest with you... I... don‘t really know many of your songs... I couldn‘t... listen to them... too painful...“

“Oh...“ Shane blushed slightly, taking Nicky‘s hand again, his voice thick with emotion, “But... I mean it, Nicky... I have never stopped loving you... and I promise not to fuck it up again.... and... Can... Can I take you back?“

Nicky couldn‘t remember how to breathe. “I... I...“ he stammered, “Shane... I... wow... I... don‘t... I can‘t... it‘s been so long... we... haven‘t seen each other in so long... maybe we have... changed... so much has changed... we... we can‘t just pick up where we left off, can we? I... can I take you back as a... friend, first?“

Shane nodded his head slowly, a slight frown between his eyes, “Yes... yes, of course, I‘m sorry, Nicky... it was stupid to think you‘d still want me after all these years... after everything I‘ve put you through... I... this is my fault... We need to rebuild our friendship, of course, we do... rebuild trust... I broke your heart... Nicky, I promise to do everything I can to make things right...“ There was a faint smile on Shane‘s face, but he couldn‘t hide the disappointment in his voice - he had clearly hoped for a different outcome.

Nicky cleared his throat, “It‘s... a lot to take in, Shane... I hadn‘t heard from you in years... and then you were there on stage, asking me to-... and all of a sudden, three eejits from Sligo want to meet up to talk about some crazy idea and... now here you are, sitting on my sofa, asking me... asking me out...“ Nicky was struggling for words, but he was teasingly raising an eyebrow, looking more and more like himself now.

“ _Asking you out_?!“ Shane chuckled, the frown vanishing from his face, “Seriously, Nicky... I understand that you need more time... let‘s take things slowly, yeah? I will gladly take whatever you‘re willing to give and even that will be more than I deserve... I was stupid enough to let you go once... and I won‘t ever take you for granted. I won‘t ever let you down again. I‘ve missed you so... so.. much. Leaving you was the worst thing I could have done, but I was too stupid to see that... I was falling to pieces and I didn‘t know right from wrong... but... now I‘m here, um... RIGHT HERE even...“ Shane was rambling now, clearly he had reached the end of the list of things he had planned to say.

“... “ _Right here_ “?! Honestly, Shane...“ Nicky rolled his eyes, playfully slapping Shane‘s arm, already falling back into old patterns, “right... um... thank you... for everything you‘ve said, for coming here and... um... wanting to win my heart again... I am... flattered, but... most of all, I am glad that you are here, _right here_ even. I‘ve missed you, too. Let‘s not... rush into anything, okay? Like I said, I need time, Shane. I have a feeling, my life will change quite drastically soon and I‘m glad to have you by my side again. I‘ve missed my best friend.“ Nicky‘s voice was turning serious again.

“So have I,“ Shane‘s own voice was thick with emotion, “Thank you, Nicky. When I got here, I... I wasn‘t sure if you‘d even hear me out or if you‘d punch me or shout at me or... I don‘t even know. So... we‘re friends, yeah? Can I give you a hug, my friend?“

“Course, you can,“ Nicky smiled, already wrapping his arms around Shane and as they held each other for a couple of seconds, Nicky could feel something fall into place - a piece of his heart that had been missing for too long.

***

Once their „“big talk“ had been over, Shane and Nicky were beginning to feel more and more at ease with each other, keeping up the conversation didn‘t feel painfully awkward anymore and they genuinely enjoyed each other‘s company.

“So,“ Nicky began, placing another cup of tea in front of Shane and curling up comfortably on the sofa, but still leaving some distance between himself and Shane, “Westlife 2.0, eh? Who would have thought...“

“I know,“ Shane smiled happily, “it‘s crazy, right? I can‘t believe it... And it means the world to me to know I‘ll get to spend time with you again... a lot of time... I‘ve missed you so much, Nico...“

“Ah, well,“ Nicky grinned, “imagine being on the road with Mark and Egan all the time. No adult to talk to, no one to give you advice on your outfits, no one in the band who can dance...“ - there he was again, cracking jokes, hiding the whirlwind of emotions inside of him.

Shane snorted, “Sure, that‘s why you‘re in the band! No, honestly... we wouldn‘t do it without you, Nicky. Never. If you hadn‘t agreed to... see me and talk and... stuff.. we wouldn‘t have done it. Mark and Kian still have no idea, of course, but they know there have been some... disagreements between the two of us and that‘s why... we haven‘t been in touch. When we met in Sligo, I told them I‘d... talk to you, before we could even consider getting back together as a band. So, yeah... bit of pressure on us... well, on me... It was me who fucked it up and I will fight to put it right.“

Nicky’s throat was dry, „“It‘s alright, Shane... don‘t beat yourself up... this is... a fresh start, yeah?“ He was surprised to realise he really meant those words. He had tried to picture how he would feel and how he would react if Shane ever apologised a million times, but none of the scenarios in his mind had been this... calm. Despite everything that had happened, it hurt Nicky to see Shane like this. All he wanted right now was for them to be friends again - to talk, to laugh, to wind each other up, to... who knows what else would happen.

“Right,“ Shane announced quite suddenly, interrupting Nicky‘s thoughts, “I‘d better get going them. Busy day tomorrow, eh?“

“What?!," Nicky was startled, “where are you going?“ - “Um,“ Shane hesitated, “Back to Dublin to... book a hotel room? I‘ll come back with the others tomorrow...“

“No!“ Nicky exclaimed, “Don‘t go! That‘s stupid... you can stay here. G and the kids are gone for the weekend. You can have the guestroom and... and... you just got here! We could just hang out tonight?“

Shane chewed his lips nervously, “You sure? I wouldn‘t mind staying at a hotel... I‘d like to stay with you, too, though... just don‘t wanna push it... I meant it when I said we‘d take it slowly... don‘t worry, as much as I‘d like to, I won‘t jump you, haha...“

“Wha..... what?!," Nicky spluttered, „you‘d want to? Right now?," he felt his face grow hot at the thought. No, not only his face, he felt hot all over. It would be a real bad timing to come down with the flu now...

Shane chuckled at the look on Nicky‘s face, “Calm down, Nico... I was joking.... kind of... 39 really suits you and I‘d be lying if I said my heart wasn‘t going crazy right now and I keep wondering- well... anyways, I‘ll keep my hands to myself. Promise.“ Shane winked at him, grinning.

Oh. Wow. Shane had just fucking winked at him. And he was flirting with him. And his heart was going crazy. And Nicky‘s heart was... what the hell _was_ his heart actually doing?! It used to be torn into pieces, so very broken and... hadn‘t Nicky firmly told himself to protect himself from any sort of heartache? His heart wasn‘t meant to ache for Shane like... like this right now. Certain parts of his body weren‘t meant to... literally yearn for Shane like this. Nicky had had a plan! And now... _just a smile and the rain is gone_ , or what?! Wasn‘t he too old for this? Urgh, Nicky felt betrayed by himself.

“Ha... ha, very funny, Filan,“ Nicky forced himself to laugh, but it sounded somewhat strangled, “um, thanks for the compliment, though. But... um... yeah, please feel free to stay. We can order some pizzas and OH!“ Nicky‘s eyes widened and then lit up, “the match is on tonight! Almost forgot! We could watch that together?“

“I guess I don‘t have a choice, eh?," Shane smiled fondly at the blonde, glad to see him more at ease at the prospect of watching football together.

***

“FOR FUCK‘S SAKE, COME ON!!!," Shane smiled to himself as he watched Nicky yell at the TV. In fairness, he had spent more time watching the blonde cheer and curse than watching the actual game. He still could not believe he actually was watching Nicky right now - spending time with him, on his sofa, in his house. Just last week he would never have thought this could be possible, not even yesterday and certainly not this afternoon when he had been about to vomit into the Byrnes‘ flowerbed.

They had spent the rest of the afternoon talking about anything and everything, catching up, showing each other the latest photos of their kids and daydreaming about Westlife‘s future. Shane had meant everything he had said earlier - he had spent every day of the past six years regretting what had happened, what he had done to Nicky. And he had also meant it when he had said he was still in love with Nicky, always had been and would take him back in a heartbeat, but he was not going to push it. He knew Nicky needed time to get to know him again, trust him again and... well, he hoped that one day, maybe, he would even love him again. But just this, simply being with him, watching footie together, was more than enough for now. He had truly missed his best friend.

As the end of the game drew nearer, Nicky was literally on edge, clutching one of the bloody sofa cushions, eyes wide, quite possibly not even blinking. “YEEEAAAAAAAAH!," Shane jumped at the sudden roar, almost spilling his can of Guinness - he must have been too busy watching the whirlwind of emotions on Nicky‘s face to actually witness Ireland‘s final goal. Before he even had a chance to sit back down, he was pulled into a crushing embrace and found himself jumping up and down with the blonde. “We won, we won!“ Nicky chanted excitedly, his cheek touching Shane‘s. Wow. Talk about trying to keep a safe distance and taking one step at a time. Shane drew in a shaky breath, his heart hammering against his ribcage, Nicky still jumping up and down in his arms like a mad person. “Congrats, Nico...," before Shane knew what he was doing, his lips brushed Nicky‘s cheek - not on purpose, more like a... natural reaction. It was what he used to do - at any given chance. Oops. Right. Maybe Nicky hadn‘t even noticed thanks to his celebratory dance.

But as Nicky immediately pulled back, locking eyes with Shane, there was no doubt that Nicky must have felt the touch of Shane‘s lips. Shane held his breath, while he was waiting for Nicky‘s reaction. For a couple of seconds, the blonde seemed to be frozen to the spot, his eyes staring into Shane‘s - unreadable, but maybe, just maybe, a slightly darker shade of blue than usual. Shane could swear that Nicky‘s gaze had briefly moved to his lips, just before his own lips broke into a smile, “Good match, eh?“ Nicky‘s voice was a little huskier than before - no wonder with all his roaring and yelling.

“Yeah... um..," Shane shuffled his feet nervously, forcing himself to put more distance between himself and Nicky, before he would do anything _really_ stupid, though his body was begging him to move into the opposite direction. “I‘d... I‘d better go to bed, I guess... um... busy day tomorrow...“ He wished they could stay up all night, just... being together, but then again, Shane was afraid he had pushed his luck far enough for one day.

“Yeah... you‘re right...," Nicky hesitated, “Thanks for today, Shane... It‘s been... really... um... nice... um... let me know if you need anything... good night, Shano!“ He awkwardly patted Shane‘s shoulder, before walking up the stairs to his bedroom.

That night Shane lay in his bed, wide awake. In his head, he went through the events of the day over and over again, wondering if Nicky was doing the same next door or actually sleeping soundly. Had he gone too far? How did Nicky really feel about him? Was he still attracted to him? Would they ever get back together again? As happy and excited as Shane was about having put things straight with Nicky, one thing was certain - being around Nicky and treating him as a _friend_ only, was going to be way more difficult than Shane had thought.

***

“But, man, your house used to be across the road, I swear!," Kian tried to explain why he and Mark had rang the wrong door bell like the total dorks they were, before he pulled Nicky into a hug the following afternoon.

The day had passed quickly and sort of uneventful - after a night of fitful sleep, he and Shane had had breakfast together, taken the dog out for a walk along the beach and gone for a light lunch at one of the cafés by the sea. The mood had been good, they had been excited about their meeting, but at the same time both of them had been somewhat guarded, carefully trying to keep things light between them, last night‘s moment of temptation gone.

Mark literally came bouncing into Nicky‘s house behind Kian, grinning broadly, “Girls, I can‘t believe this is hap.pen.ing! This is fucking it! Westlife 2.0 - are you ready?!“

Little did they know, what the future had in store for them.


	4. Early summer 2018 - Recording “Better Man“ in London

_You and I had something special, baby_

_Something that you only see on movie screens, I know_

Nicky‘s breath caught in his throat as he watched Shane from outside the recording booth. It was Westlife‘s first official day at work - no one knew yet, of course - and they had just finished their harmonies for “Better Man," sounding better than ever. At the same time it was as if they had never stopped singing together - the magic of Westlife truly coming back to life.

Now it was Shane‘s turn to do his verse and while Kian and Mark used their break to grab some food, Nicky had stayed at the studio to practice his own lines. Not only was “Better Man“ Westlife’s first song in years, but they all had individual lines as well - something Nicky in particular had been incredibly proud of, but as his turn drew nearer, that uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach grew at alarming speed. They had had a session with their vocal coach earlier, but still, Nicky hadn’t actually sung for quite some time, so he really wanted to squeeze in a bit of extra practice before he did his verse. However, that very handsome brunette in the recording booth singing his heart out was clearly messing with Nicky‘s concentration.

_Lately, I've been missing you like crazy_

_Oh, why, why'd you let me in just to let me go?_

Do you know the kind of voice that strikes your body like lightning? Emptying your brain and filling your heart to the brim? That’s what Shane’s voice has been doing to Nicky since Day One. Give him that first line of Flying Without Wings, no, that croak alone, and he gets weak at the knees, no matter how many times he had heard it. Shane could probably sing the Paw Patrol theme song - much to Gia‘s delight - and still, Nicky would be... well, he didn‘t even know _what_ was going on. Or maybe he did and he didn‘t want to admit it. Anyway, Shane‘s voice was fucking perfect and he was the most beautiful singer Nicky had ever seen. Eh, no. Oops. The _best_ singer he had ever _heard_. That‘s what Nicky meant. Ugh, if he wanted to concentrate on his own lines, he had to get out of here.

***

Nicky was sitting on a bench in the park just around the corner. He had his eyes closed, letting the early summer sun warm his face and quietly hummed his lines over and over again. _What if he messed it up? What if their comeback didn’t work out because of him? What if_ \- His eyes still closed, Nicky sensed someone sitting down beside him.

“Hey," Shane’s soft voice interrupted Nicky’s thoughts, “are you alright?“ Nicky opened his eyes and found the brunette staring at him with a slight frown on his face. “Um, yeah…“ Nicky mumbled. “Why are you sitting here on your own then looking glum? What’s wrong?“ Nicky couldn’t help but notice a trace of concern in Shane’s voice, as he felt Shane’s hand rest on his shoulder. That bit of comfort was all it took for Nicky to spill his guts.

“I… I’m nervous, I guess," he began, staring into his lap, “I haven’t really sung in… a long time. Not since… well, since the Eurovision and… you know how that ended. The three of you are so confident, you’ve always sounded amazing and you’re even better now… but… I know my voice isn’t that strong… what if I mess it up, Shane? What if I ruin the song? What if I ruin our comeback?“

“Hey, hey, hey… look at me, Nicky," Shane gently lifted Nicky’s chin, letting his fingers linger on Nicky’s face for another second - a small gesture that made his breath catch in his throat, “you stop this right now, do you hear me? You’re not going there, okay? I can imagine what your defeat at the Eurovision must have felt like… all that coverage in the media… but Nico, you know what the press is like - they LOVE picking on people when they’re already low, they always make fun of the contestants… that’s part of the whole thing, isn’t it? What happened wasn’t your fault. You did your best and you made your folks proud - your family, your friends, your fans and me, of course. You ARE a great singer, Nico. You wouldn’t have been picked to go to Sweden in the first place if you hadn’t been, but you know what these contests are like. They’re not about talent, but about… about… entertainment, naked skin, tragic background stories, blah blah blah. That’s why they always let some small country win nobody has ever heard of.“

Nicky opened his mouth to interrupt, but Shane went on, “You are part of Westlife. You always have been and you always will be, Nicky. There would be no Westlife without you. We need you and we need your voice. The songs wouldn’t be complete without you, the harmonies wouldn’t be complete without you, the band wouldn’t be complete without you and I… wouldn’t be complete without you, either," Shane finished his little speech with a gentle smile, his eyes full of emotion.

Nicky could feel his cheeks grow warmer and suddenly he found it hard to swallow, “Thanks, Shane… I don’t even know what to say, just… thank you," he mumbled into Shane’s shoulder as he was pulled into a tight hug. They stayed like this for a minute, not saying anything, but just enjoying the closeness.

“So," Shane began in his stern dad-voice as he they finally broke apart, “we’ll go through your lines together one last time and then you’ll show everyone what you’re made of, right?“

***

_Most guys will get high when feeling low_

_But I don't think that that's the way to go_

_Sometimes I'll be sitting on my own_

_Thinking 'bout life, thinking 'bout you and me_

Nicky’s heart was thumping madly in his chest as he took off the headphones in the recording booth and he just _knew_ he got it right - at the first go, that was. He caught Shane’s eye behind the window and saw him grinning proudly. When he gave Nicky a double thumbs up and mouthed “Nailed it!," Nicky felt happier than he had in years - his earlier worries gone and he knew he really was ready now.


	5. Autumn 2018 - Shooting the video for “Hello My Love“ in L.A.

The past few months had literally flown by. Nicky and the other lads and been blown away by the love and support their fans and the media had shown them following the announcement of their comeback. The tickets for their upcoming tour were selling fast but above all, they genuinely enjoyed being back on the road together - the interviews, the never-ending photo shoots, the long hours spent at airports, the buzz, the banter and their friendship. As the year had gone by, Nicky and Shane had also been able to truly rekindle their friendship - almost everything had slowly fallen back into place until they were living in each other’s pocket again, sharing silly jokes, goofing around and basically driving Kian and Mark mad at every given opportunity. There was only one big difference to how it used to be before…

Back in January, Shane had made it pretty clear that he would be more than willing to… well, take up that _really special aspect_ of their relationship again. Pick up where they had left off. Nicky would be lying if he said he hadn’t felt _it_ many times - the desire to be with Shane, to be _closer_ to Shane, to touch him, to kiss him, to do everything he had clearly forbidden himself to even think of. In the beginning, there had been many hints, many moments of temptation, though Nicky could tell that Shane had always been careful not to push it too far. To give him time. In these past few weeks, though, Shane had been a bit more reserved, a bit more distant - still friendly and chatty and shane-y, but not as … flirty as before. Nicky couldn’t tell if it was because Shane had actually lost interest or because he was waiting for him to make the next move.

***

After a lot of promo in the UK and Ireland, Westlife had now arrived in California to shoot their first music video in years. Their first big work trip had them all super excited and they still couldn’t believe their luck of getting the chance to truly live their dream once again. They had only arrived in the afternoon and had been advised to go to bed early to avoid jet lag, but that was easier said than done. Nicky was lying on his bed, flicking through the channels and as much as he hated to admit it, he hated being on his own, always had and always would. It was no secret that he was a touchy-feely person and at almost 40, he still struggled to fall asleep in an empty bed. He considered calling his wife but it was the middle of the night back home, so that wasn’t an option. Instead, he picked up his phone to send a message to their Westlife group chat. Maybe one of the lads would be up for a late night chat.

**Hey, anyone still up? N**

His phone buzzed almost instantly.

 **Yeah, me. U ok? S** ****

**Just can’t sleep. Fecking jet lag… N** ****

**Want me to come over for a cuppa? S** ****

**Sure! N**

Just thirty seconds later there was a soft knock on his door. As Nicky got up, he quickly let his gaze wander through his room - the contents of his suitcase were scattered across the floor, just like they used to when they were touring the world for the first time almost twenty years ago. Shane had always made fun of his messy room and then, when they started sharing rooms, “secretly“ taken over the job of neatly folding Nicky’s clothes and keeping their room somewhat tidy. Nicky smiled at the memory and went to open the door.

The sight that greeted him made his heart do another one of those silly cartwheels - Shane was wearing a plain T-shirt, checked pyjama bottoms, his hair was tousled and there was no other word for it, he looked simply adorable.

“Hey, thanks for coming over. I shouldn’t have had so much coffee on the plane, I guess," Nicky began, scratching his head.

“Ah well, and I shouldn’t have slept so much on the plane, I guess," Shane grinned. It was well-known that Shane could fall asleep literally anywhere. That man could sleep for Ireland, as far as Nicky was concerned.

“Old habits die hard, eh?“ Shane teased smilingly, as he took in the state of Nicky’s room .

“Ah, I couldn’t be bothered. You know what I’m like," Nicky grinned back, sitting down on the bed, “make yourself at home, Shane. You… uh… can have the sofa if you’d like.“

“Don’t be silly. We both know you won’t be able to fall asleep in that bed on your own. Go on, scoot over!“ Shane looked at Nicky questioningly, his confidence faltering slightly, “Unless you don’t want me to? I promise I’ll be good… even if you wanna sleep in your boxers. I know you’d rather… um…“

“Um… no… it’s fine. Um… lie back and relax…," Nicky gestured at the bed awkwardly. How the heck had they gone from “let’s have a cup of tea together“ to actually sharing a bed in a couple of seconds?!

“I’ll just stay until you’re settled and off to dreamland and then I’ll… uh... go back to my room, yeah?“ Shane promised and lay down on the covers beside the blonde.

“Um… yeah…," Nicky’s heart was beating fast. He would never be able to fall asleep with Shane being this close to him. “Shall we watch a bit of Friends? Like in the old days?“

They comfortably lay beside each other, laughing at the jokes they knew by heart by now and as the second episode started, Nicky could finally feel his eyes grow heavier. “Really excited about tomorrow," he yawned, overcome by a sudden crushing tiredness, sliding deeper under the duvet.

“Me, too," Shane replied, stretching his arms and as they settled back down, they were somehow even closer to one another than before. Suddenly, Nicky’s back was resting against Shane’s chest and as he felt Shane’s fingers run softly through his hair, he sighed contently, “Mhh.. ’s nice…“.

Shane may or may not have replied something in a thick voice and he may or may not have kissed the top of his head. Nicky would never know, because he was fast asleep already.

***

Nicky woke early the following morning. After those first few confused seconds of disorientation, he felt a warm glow that seemed to radiate from deep inside his chest through his whole body. There also seemed to be some source of heat right behind him, it almost felt as if… Nicky’s heart gave a sudden jolt, as he realised Shane was spooning him from behind, holding him close in his strong arms and he, Nicky, must have spent the whole night snuggled up against him - no wonder he had slept so soundly. Wow. Jaysus. Right.

Nicky could feel Shane’s soft even breath on his neck and while he was still trying to come to terms with the fact that he and Shane had technically spent their first night together in more than six years, Shane was stirring in his sleep. As he was slowly moving against him, there was something else Nicky felt - something hard pressing into the small of his back and sending a hot thrill through his body and straight into his groin. Nicky couldn’t stop a small gasp - or was it a moan? - escape his lips and as Shane kept stirring and stretching his legs, Nicky knew he was awake, too, and what was more important, he wasn’t moving away from him or pushing Nicky away.

“Mhh... g’morning," Shane croaked sleepily, his hand on Nicky’s stomach gently drawing small circles through the thin fabric of his T-shirt. Nicky didn’t know what to reply, he couldn’t. All he could do was feel Shane against him, the soft caress of Shane’s hand on his stomach and suddenly, a fire was building inside of him, every cell of his body screaming, “Yes! Please! More!“.

Nicky didn’t have a chance to _think_ about his next move, he could only _do_ what his body was desperately begging him to do. He turned around to face Shane, to let Shane _feel_ what he wanted, what he needed, his hips grinding against Shane’s urgently, as he was tugging at the brunette’s hair, trying to bring their faces closer together. 

“Shane," he breathed, their noses almost touching. Nicky craned his neck and then, all of a sudden, Shane sat up.

“Nico… no…," he panted.

“Wha-…. What?!“ Nicky spluttered breathlessly, “is this some kind of joke?!“

“No… believe me,“ Shane’s voice was husky and his eyes were almost black, “I want you, fuck, you have no idea how much I want you-“

“Then have me! Please! I… I’m ready!“ Nicky pleaded desperately, his pulse throbbing in his veins.

“I… I can tell," Shane gave a hoarse chuckle and then groaned, clearly fighting an internal battle, “I want to do this, Nico, hell, I do, but not… not now. Not like this. When we’re going to do this, when I’m going to kiss you for the first time, I will have brushed my teeth, both of us will be fully awake and we won’t have to be downstairs for breakfast in ten minutes. We’re going to do this properly.“

“But… but…," Nicky was positively whining now, “You can’t be serious, Shane! I don’t care about your teeth! I’m awake! I don’t want breakfast! Look at the state of us!“

“Shhh…“ Shane smiled at Nicky fondly, as he forced himself to get up, “I promise we’ll do this _soon_. I’m only… human, you know. But this is important to me, _you_ are important to me.“

Shane gently loosened Nicky’s grip on his wrist and quickly brushed his lips over Nicky’s hand. Before Nicky even had the chance to grab Shane and pull him back to bed, he was gone.

***

Nicky had forgotten how long it took to shoot a music video. Or maybe he hadn’t really forgotten, but time just seemed to drag on when you couldn’t concentrate on anything but one of your bandmates. Either way, they had spent all day filming and even though it was getting dark now, they were still not finished. After Shane had left him - well, he couldn’t actually say _hanging_ \- this morning, it had taken an awfully cold shower before he was ready to join the others for breakfast. And even then the air had been buzzing with tension and… anticipation… and… lust. Nicky hadn’t been able to stop looking at Shane all day and he clearly hadn’t been the only one. Shane had seemed to be even more distracted and absent-minded than usual. Anyone could think he had been tense because he really wanted to focus on the job at hand, but Nicky could feel Shane’s glances on him all day. Surrounded by Kian, Mark and the rest of the crew, they hadn’t had the chance to do anything but share a few _friend_ -ly touches and meaningless conversations, but Nicky could feel his skin prickle whenever Shane was close.

Nicky was standing slightly away from the set, hugging a cup of tea to himself in an attempt to warm up, while Mark was doing his solo takes and Kian was on the phone to Jodi. He had thought it would be warm in California, but now that the sun was setting in the desert, it was bloody freezing.

He had promised himself to take things slowly, to guard himself even. Not to rush into anything, not to let his desire lead him into something he wasn’t ready for or into something his heart wasn’t in. He had fooled himself pretending he didn’t _know_ if he still loved Shane. Man, he had never _stopped_ loving him. Despite everything they had been through, despite all the heartache and pain Shane had put him through all those years ago, he still loved Shane and always would. Nicky knew Shane had never wanted to hurt him and he understood why Shane had done what he had. Maybe Nicky would have done the same in his position - if he had been been strong enough (which _he_ never would have been) to stay away from the most important man in his life only… to protect him. The past few months spent in Shane’s company had shown him how much he had missed his best friend and seeing how carefully Shane had tried to regain Nicky’s trust had made him love him only more. And bloody hell, he was getting SO tired of staying away from him, of keeping himself from kissing him, from snogging his brains out actually, from ripping his clothes off, …

“Hey," Shane‘s voice interrupted Nicky‘s vivid daydreams, as he returned from the hair and make up trailer, ready for his upcoming shoots, “amazing location, isn‘t it?“

“Yeah, it is," Nicky smiled at Shane‘s enthusiasm - all of them had been hyped up when the director had come up with the idea of hot air balloons taking off in the desert.

“Um, about this morning, Nicky...," Shane lowered his voice, “I meant what I said. I want to do things properly this time round.So many things went wrong in the past, so much more is at stake now. I mean... more kids, our wives, we both know they’lI always come first. We know what it will be like, there will be guilt and jealousy, there will be arguments and heartache, but... I want this. I want to be with you. I want you. I... are you sure you‘re ready for this, Nicky?“

Nicky‘s throat was suddenly dry, as he put his cup down, “Shane, believe me, I‘ve never been more ready... you know I‘ve forgiven you long ago. I know exactly what I‘m getting myself into and that‘s exactly what I want.“

Shane put his hand on Nicky’s arm, his eyes full of emotion, “Thank you... I want this to be special, you deserve only the very best version of myself and the best I can offer, Nicky... Our first kiss will not be rushed, it won‘t be a drunken fumble. I will make sure it will be something to remember. Um... can I take you out for dinner tomorrow?“

Nicky chuckled quietly and gave an exasperated sigh, “Always the romantic, eh? Jaysus, Shay... you don‘t really need to _time_ our first kiss, you know?! What about living in the moment and enjoying a messy snog in bed, when you wake up and feel-“

“Shhh!," Shane hissed, his eyes wide and his cheeks flushed crimson. You didn‘t really _talk_ about those things, did you? Well, not at _work_ at least...

Nicky smiled sheepishly, “Alright... alright.. dinner date tomorrow, yeah?“

“Thank you... I can‘t wait," Shane smiled gratefully and stroked Nicky‘s arm innocently.

“Neither can I... And I can‘t wait for this shoot to be over, I‘m bloody freezing! I can’t feel my toes anymore!“ Nicky whined, shivering visibly.

“Um,“ Shane looked at Nicky for a long moment and narrowed his eyes, “come with me for a sec, there‘s something...," he trailed off, pulling at Nicky‘s arm and leading him behind the trailer.

“What-," Nicky began, but before he could finish his question, Shane‘s lips were crashing down on his.

Nicky was paralyzed with shock for one second, before his whole body responded, pulling Shane close, grabbing the back of his head and kissing him back with everything he had.

It was everything he had remembered, everything he had missed, everything he had dreamed of and more. It was as if a big ball of fire deep inside him, had finally been unleashed after years of suppression, sparks and fireworks flooding every cell of his body until he was sure he was burning.

“Nico...," Shane panted breathlessly, as they broke apart minutes later, “I... hope you‘re feeling warmer now...“

Nicky could only stare at him in disbelief, open-mouthed, lost for words, lost for breath, his heart racing faster than ever, blood rushing through his body.

“Well... rules are made to be broken, I guess," Shane grinned at him, trying to smooth his hair, “we‘d... uh... better get back.“

***

What a day. Nicky plopped down on his bed later that night, wrapped in a fluffy bathrobe. A hot shower had warmed him up (again), relaxed his tired muscles and helped him come to terms with today‘s events.

After Shane had kissed him, totally taking Nicky by surprise, the rest of the video shoot had passed fairly quickly, both of them practically buzzing with renewed energy. And what a kiss it had been... Nicky felt an exciting flutter in the pit of his stomach just thinking about it. Thankfully, the others had been completely oblivious to what had happened. They didn‘t have a clue about the shift in Nicky‘s and Shane‘s relationship that meant the world to them.

Nicky had been a bit surprised at the lack of affection following their kiss, though. Apparently, Shane was playing his role of “nothing but a friend“ quite well. Shane had sat beside Mark on the way back to the hotel, laughing about some silly joke, only fleetingly glancing in Nicky‘s direction. Nicky had tried to catch his eye, to silently ask “What now?," but as soon as they had reached the hotel, Shane had disappeared in his room, leaving Nicky clueless and impatient.

Just as Nicky considered texting Shane, his phone buzzed:

**Can I borrow your phone charger? S x**

_S x?_ Oh, how very romantic! Nicky grabbed his charger, briefly wondered if he should put on some clothes, decided against it and shuffled over to Shane‘s room.

As Shane opened the door, his eyebrows shot up in surprise - he clearly hadn‘t expected an _almost naked_ Nicky. Shane seemed to have a hard time averting his gaze from that bit of Nicky‘s chest that the opening of the bathrobe gave away. He opened his mouth, closed it again and when he opened it again, the words came out in a rush, “Do you wanna come in?“

Nicky stepped into Shane‘s room and felt his heart swell with affection at the sight that greeted him: Shane had dimmed the lights and the small table in his room was crammed with two pizza boxes, two glasses of wine and in the middle of it all he had placed a burning candle.

“Expecting someone, are you?“ Nicky raised an eyebrow and smiled fondly at the brunette, who once again seemed to fight an internal battle.

“Right,“ Shane muttered, taking Nicky‘s hand, “I’ve promised you a dinner date tomorrow, but then I realised I couldn‘t wait that long, so I thought we could have... um... dinner in my room. And I really meant to do this slowly and I really wanted us to eat first and talk and... and... and then maybe have a bit of a cuddle, but... Jesus, Nicky, if I don‘t kiss you _right now_ , I‘m gonna combust! So... please, may I kiss you first?“

“Well, we can‘t have that," Nicky breathed, closing the distance between them and tracing Shane‘s cheek with his fingertips, “just promise me one thing - from now on, don‘t _ask_ for my permission every single time, just kiss me already!“ And with that, he finally placed his lips on Shane‘s.

Their kiss started off more gentle this time, less rushed and more explorative, appreciating the other. But soon, Nicky felt his head spin as Shane’s tongue caressed his, while their hands were roaming up and down each other’s body. Shane felt so familiar and yet, so different - more mature, more toned and simply intoxicating. Nicky moaned, when a hand landed on his hip and moved towards his bum, pulling him even closer, their bodies pressing against each other.

Nicky started placing butterfly kisses along Shane’s jaw, making the brunette shiver in response and God, he smelled so good. He remembered Shane’s soft spot right behind his ear and sure enough, as Nicky kissed and teased it gently with his tongue, Shane groaned into Nicky’s shoulder, his hips moving against Nicky’s and the blonde felt himself being guided backwards until the back of his knees hit the bed.

In an instant, Shane was straddling Nicky, taking in the sight in front of him, still struggling to believe it was actually really happening - Nicky and him being back together. “I love you, Nicky Byrne," he whispered. “I love you, too, Shane Filan," Nicky smiled, his cheeks flushed, “and it feels so good to finally say that again“. Shane bent down to kiss him again and then his lips were traveling down the blonde’s throat, across his chest, while his fingers slipped inside Nicky’s bathrobe, drawing small circles on his stomach just like he had in the morning, getting closer to the part that craved Shane’s touch the most. When Nicky felt teeth gently graze his nipple, he bucked his hips, pleasure tingling all the way to his toes. He couldn’t remember ever being this turned on before.

It took all his willpower, but Nicky eventually managed to turn the tables until he was lying on top of Shane, kissing him again and frantically wanting to touch and feel as much of his body as possible, wishing he had more than two hands. He just couldn’t take his eyes off him. “You’re so beautiful, Shane… but you’re a little overdressed, don’t you think?," Nicky breathed, opening the buttons of Shane’s shirt, tracing every bit of his skin with his fingertips. The brunette couldn’t do anything but nod helplessly and moaned, as Nicky’s fingers rested tentatively on the bulge in his jeans for a moment, before he carefully opened the button and zip to pull his jeans down. His own arousal throbbing hard, he started to stroke Shane through his boxers. After a few strokes, the brunette was arching his back, his head tossing from side to side in a frenzy.

“Nico… stop," he was panting hard, trembling with the effort to regain control of his body, “I… too… stop for a sec…“. Nicky let go of Shane’s erection and, moving more slowly, wrapped his arms around Shane’s neck and placed tender loving kisses all over his face.

They just couldn‘t get enough of each other, both of them torn between the desperate need for release and the burning desire to drag this out as long as possible. As hard as they tried, they were close to the edge, their tingling bodies rocking together, as Nicky ground his hips down over and over again. They shared another passionate kiss that left Shane gasping for air and when he suddenly grasped both of their cocks in a hot grip, lining them up, Nicky could swear he was seeing stars. Shane’s fingers were speeding up until there was no going back. Nicky cried out, grabbing Shane‘s shoulders, desperately holding on to him, as both of them imploded and exploded at the same time.

For a moment, everything was still and they just lay breathlessly curled up against each other. After a few minutes Nicky reached out to stroke Shane‘s sweaty hair, “Are you alright, babe?“

“No… I think I’ve died and gone to heaven," Shane kissed the top of Nicky’s head and sighed contentedly, “that was amazing… _you_ are amazing, Nicky… I’ve missed you so much…“

“Uh huh… I’ve missed you, too… so, so much…," Nicky’s voice was shaking slightly and all of a sudden, he was overcome with emotion, his eyes filling with tears, “I don’t… don’t ever wanna live without you again, Shane.“

“Oh, baby…," Shane pulled Nicky closer, wishing they could stay like this forever, “I promise, I won’t ever leave you again… I can’t promise it won’t be tough sometimes, but… I love you, I always will… and whatever happens, I will always be _right here_.“

“Okay… that’s good, because _right here_ is exactly where I need you," Nicky snuggled closer into Shane, smiling, “I’m sorry, though… I’ve kinda messed up our dinner date, haven’t I? It was really cute, though…“

Shane tickled Nicky’s side playfully, the blonde squirming beneath him, “Shut up, you… we can still have pizza for breakfast… but now, there are some much more important things I would like to do with you first. I mean, we really have to make up for everything we have missed out on, what do you think?“

And with that, he cupped Nicky’s face, kissing him again, making sure not to waste another minute.

Shane was right, they would have plenty of opportunities to make up for everything they had missed out on for so long and so much more. Whatever the future had in store for Westlife, Shane and Nicky would be back together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed the story as much as I enjoyed writing it and it managed to fill that Westlife-sized hole in your chest for a bit :).


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